Twenty Years, this journal
Jan. 2nd, 2022 03:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shesingsnowAt the end of this year, I'll capture this line and attempt to draw meaning from it - this line starts the theme for the twentieth year of this journal.
Last year's theme was clearly "Work". I didn't actually set a theme - it simply happened upon me. This year end I was lucky on two counts: I had two weeks of vacation at the end of the year, and I didn't get assigned a massive year-long objective that I had to plan for during the break. (I got assigned something, to be sure, but it didn't require my working on it during the break.)
This year, I'm choosing a theme: Create.
But I didn't create anything new this year, other than some good PowerPoint slides at work and a new scarf that I crocheted to give away as a Christmas gift.
I am sufficiently freaked that my mother started to decline at age 52, and I am age 51 and a half. In other words, now or never, even if "now" means by the inch. That's how you grow a garden, according to the song.
I've long used it to pour out every bit of angst/struggle, such that I might release it. I've had good reason to need an outlet. But sometimes the outlet has been a reason for the angst/struggle to exist, which was never the intention. It's kinda like setting a metric and then the behavior changes to meet the metric.
I want to shift this journal to containing things I want to remember, starting today. I might not always succeed, but it's a good intent for the third decade here. I think it complements the drive I'm feeling to create for this world.
Off to it, then.
Last year's theme was clearly "Work". I didn't actually set a theme - it simply happened upon me. This year end I was lucky on two counts: I had two weeks of vacation at the end of the year, and I didn't get assigned a massive year-long objective that I had to plan for during the break. (I got assigned something, to be sure, but it didn't require my working on it during the break.)
This year, I'm choosing a theme: Create.
But I didn't create anything new this year, other than some good PowerPoint slides at work and a new scarf that I crocheted to give away as a Christmas gift.
I am sufficiently freaked that my mother started to decline at age 52, and I am age 51 and a half. In other words, now or never, even if "now" means by the inch. That's how you grow a garden, according to the song.
I've long used it to pour out every bit of angst/struggle, such that I might release it. I've had good reason to need an outlet. But sometimes the outlet has been a reason for the angst/struggle to exist, which was never the intention. It's kinda like setting a metric and then the behavior changes to meet the metric.
I want to shift this journal to containing things I want to remember, starting today. I might not always succeed, but it's a good intent for the third decade here. I think it complements the drive I'm feeling to create for this world.
Off to it, then.
no subject
Date: 2022-01-02 09:28 pm (UTC)The purpose of writing out my angst is to release it and find a solution to it via the writing process. Often that IS successful. Solutions sometimes come when I least expect them and occasionally become obvious as I write, as I separate them from inside my mind.
However, often it works in reverse. I can become even more angst-filled the more I write about it. Sometimes, it's better to avoid writing about it and divert my energies and attention elsewhere.
I don't always know which way to go.